John Scores us Austin Collie's Cleat

Yo yo yo, this is Scottie Mo with JT, Taylor, and lil' Mitch. We have big news boys and girls, big news. Today was BYU's final home game this year against San Diego State. Of course our boys in blue blew out the Aztecs 41-12, setting a school record of 18 straight home wins covering the past 3 seasons. But, thats not all, the best part is still coming folks. First of all, for those of you who don't know, BYU has a wide out named Austin Collie who basically is the man. He's gone for 100+ yards the past 8 games (a Mountain West Conference record) and he has 13 TDs and 1,185 yards so far this season with two games still left on the schedule. He's also a candidate for the Biletnikoff Award (Best WR in college football).

As you can see, Austin is obviously a major stud for BYU. He's Max Hall's main man, and he's also become ours.

Once upon a time, the thugs from TA were chillin in our usual after game spots above the BYU player tunnel in the stands...as the players come through all the little kids down low line up around them normally ask "Hey man, can I have your number?" or possibly, "Yo Max Hall, gimme your wristband!" Now we have seen this happen game after game this year and one time I even gave a girl my number in this very same atmosphere, so obviously her life was changed and its plain to see that this place is a pretty legit scene. But this time it got even more legit. All the big name players were coming through giving high fives and signing autographs when we saw this beast of a man, Austin Collie. Earlier we had tryed to score Michael Reed's (The other bomb BYU wide out) mouth guard. He looked up at us, and he along with all of our other fans chuckled. So, as you can see we were determined to get any kind of memorabilia from the players. Mr. Collie was busy signing autographs while we were up above him yelling at him. Everyone was trying to get something from him but he had already taken off his sweatbands and had already wiped off the Aztec blood that he had collected during the previous 48 minutes of football. So, our boy JT "Heartthrob" Meyer yells "Yo my boy Austin! Throw us your cleat!" Of course we were just being the silly thugs that we are, and we all thought that there would be no way that we could actually score his cleat, but we did. He kept signing autographs, then started walking towards the locker room door when all of a sudden he kicked his right heel out of his shoe. All of us instantly froze. He then took it off and turned towards us. A little Tongan Boy by Austin began to cry tears of joy as Mr. Collie lofted the cleat towards the heavens (us). I reached as far out as I could, hanging dangerously over the guard rail, the cleat then fluttered into my grasp and John began to cry hysterically. All of the people down low by the players started clapping as we all freaked out and started to "2-Step" while holding the cleat. We then decided to check the size and came to discover that we had basically found Cinderella's glass slipper because its size "11" fit my foot perfectly. I put it on, and we started our trek back to TA. Multiple times we were stopped along the way by adoring fans of us, oh and Austin, and we even were asked for pictures. Basically Austin became more of a man today because of his acceptence into the brotherhood known as TA. From now on Austin will always be a G and he will always get into TA for free!